Living in Seattle, I’m the youngest mama I know. Basically as soon as we moved out of Idaho, when I was large with child, I realized that no one else my age was anywhere near starting a family. Feeling like I missed out on my young adult years, on those important moments that help you figure out who you really are, is something I have struggled with.
But I don’t regret a single thing. I love how my life is turning out. I love how Madelyn and Josh keep me grounded. I love having people to come home to after work that are excited to see me. I love cuddling Madelyn on the couch while she watches a movie, and how she buries her face in my chest when a scary part happens. I don’t think I missed out on anything, I think Madelyn came when she was supposed to and she gave my life the meaning I needed.
One morning she crawled into bed with me and I was pretending to be asleep, hoping she might go back to sleep too. But she gently brushed her hand down the side of my face and kissed my cheek and then said, “I love you, mama.” Whenever I put her to bed I tickle her face with my fingertips and tell her how much I love her, and to see that she notices those intimate moments made it all so worth it. I love being Madelyn’s mom and I would take that over anything else, because hearing her say “I love you, mama” and “I missed you” makes me so happy to be where I am.
I really feel so privileged that she chose me to be her mama, and having her younger just means I get to love her longer. My life is a little ahead of most twenty-four year olds. I’m a wife, a mother, heck, I own a washer and dryer, and I spend way too much time trying to make up healthy recipes I think a toddler might like. I have stretch marks up and down my stomach and bags under my eyes that seem to be permanent now (?). But no two people have the same timeline and that’s nothing to be upset about.
I’m a young mom, and I’m not ashamed of that, in fact, I love the life I’ve been given. Even though it’s not what I expected, I can still figure out who I am and be the person I want to be because being a mom isn’t a limitation, it’s something to be proud of.